I feel like such a grown-up. Yesterday I called HMRC and sorted out my tax codes so now they’re right. Today I emailed someone at uni to check that he will act as my professional advisor and registered with PEDR and started filling out my record. I’m meeting with one of the directors on Friday - this is a positive thing, for all that it might be difficult. I booked a doctor’s appointment. I turned down an extra shift at my other work. Check me.
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(Source: fl--orath)
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I have to go to work through the snow and try not to end up taking time out in the staff room while I try to stop crying and shaking. I have to try to understand what people are saying when they talk to me and I have to be helpful and friendly and alive.
I wish I could stay curled up in a corner of my bed.
(Source: desyrable)
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It's strange isn't it? →
That mental health issues are so readily and easily ignored, whilst physical health issues are treated so seriously.
[tw:suicide]
It’s funny since I’ve had a mental breakdown I’ve had one person out of my entire friendship group visit and talk to me. In 8 months, one person. Everyone else…
I was fortunate enough to have friends and family who were there for me without a second thought when I was in hospital, and who gave me all the support and love and care they would have offered had I had a physical illness, but I saw how unusual that was. I saw people whose families wouldn’t bring their children to see them, whose friends wouldn’t visit, who were abandoned and alone because entering a psychiatric ward was an unthinkable step to take and because the ill and the isolated were easiest ignored.
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A year ago today the crisis team decided it wasn’t safe for me to be at home, and I was admitted to a psychiatric ward.
(Source: ocn, via environmentarchitectures)
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Work was actually pretty good. I didn’t feel lost. It was a relaxed day but not quiet. It was nice being back in the environment, and around people who’re familiar and friendly. I’m glad to be back for a bit.
On reflection, I think it’s to do with my experiences of the store from before. It’s about the first place I felt comfortable after leaving hospital last year, and work was an important part regaining stability and independence and confidence. I associate it with being given both support and respect.
(Source: dumspiro)
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"She struggled with her sadness, but tried to conceal it, to divide it into smaller and smaller parts and scatter these in places she thought no one would find them."
Great House by Nicole Krauss (via sickly-thin)
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reasons to feel overwhelmed today:
last art therapy (and looking back over work, which is hard)
seeing my cpn (yeah it’s been a while)
people (still)
On the other hand, I’m in my room on my own listening to the sound of the rain, and it’s not so bad.(Source: nightingalegirl)
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There are some days when I drop my plans and ambitions and recognise that what matters is that I get through safely. And that’s ok. If eating take-out and watching House and reading a novel means I can make it then that’s a good call. If I spend my time moving from one distraction to another and balancing up my feelings and giving myself space then that is good and responsible and smart.
(Art therapy was hard today.)
(via lightmyf1re)
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The other day I was able to talk a friend through some mental-health-medical-health-service-navigation, and I’m glad. It’s something that’s come out of all this, something I can use to help guide and support people. The knowledge and understanding and skills and experience to make a difference. I’m a useful mental person.
(Source: alisonnoelcox)
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