August 2012
103 posts
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Day 99
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food: normal I think? Plus biscuits.
company: colleagues, the poet & family.
work: 4 hour shift, plus was asked to work an extra 3 hours tomorrow. It went ok - mostly delivery.
activity: went to gp appointment; train into town; quick phone-scouting, renewed library books. Worked shift. Organised new phone and contract. Walked to the poet’s. Admin/planning....
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Day 98
trigger warning: self harm
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food: normal meals plus sugar-high snacks (is this why I have a headache?)
company: colleagues. Family in the evening.
work: 8 hour late shift (11am - 8pm). It was decent.
activity: showered, train to work. Worked. Attempted to sort out phone stuff and library books while on my break; managed neither. Home. Family, internets, music.
rest: slept...
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“There is so much bullshit out there about mental health and mental illness, I...”
– Dr Tim Anstiss, How social media is supporting people with depression (via mindovermatterzine)
No kidding.
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Day 97
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food: small breakfast, normal-ish lunch, large dinner.
company: the climber; the athlete; later, my sister and family and the poet.
work: no
activity: packed my things together. went to the supermarket with the climber and his housemate, then to the station. took a train into town. ran errands, met up with the athlete. Caught my trains back. A bit of social time, then...
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Day 96
trigger warning: eating disorders
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food: small breakfast late. regular lunch, late. regular dinner late. moment of ketosis mid-afternoon?
company: the climber, his housemates. phone call from the poet.
work: no
activity: lazy morning. internets/music/talking/downtime. walked up to the shop. went climbing in the evening. (ugh stupid heart)
rest: slept 12am - 8am, 2pm - 4pm.
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alex recovering: Serving Size Anxiety →
alexrecovering:
After receiving an ask from someone who said that they felt too guilty to eat the entirety of a small pot of ice cream even though they wanted to because the serving size indicated that it was for two people, I decided to make a post dedicated to the whole palava.
Exhibit 1, cereals: Cereal…
YES this.
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Day 96
trigger warning: eating disorders, self-harm
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food: large late-ish breakfast. skipped lunch. chippy dinner.
company: the climber and the athlete.
work: no - I’m on holiday
activity: quiet morning, internets and stuff. napped. went climbing then kayaking. home, showered, watched a film.
rest: slept 12pm - 8am. eating disordered dreams.
feeling: happy to see people I...
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Day 95
trigger warning: self harm, eating disorders
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food: skipped breakfast. normal lunch, normal dinner. slight restrictive inclinations.
company: the climber; the athlete and her girlfriend.
work: no
activity: lift/train into town; joined the athlete; collected the climber; went to the pub. made plans/talked/etc. train home. napped. film.
rest: slept 12pm - 9am
feeling: good...
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“When [your friends] say “You’re not fat,” what they really mean is “You’re not a...”
– Does my butt look fat? (Kate Harding) (via fatgirlsguide, rawwomen) (via harrenhal) (via ladyvillains) (via picturaculminis) (via such-heights)
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Day 94
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food: small breakfast, early small lunch, snack late afternoon, small-ish dinner.
company: visited friends in the morning, staying with the climber this evening.
work: no
activity: train into London; caught up with friends; tube then train then train; catching up with the climber.
rest: slept 2am - 8am
feeling: generally good. happy to see people. not that many intrusive...
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Day 93
trigger warning: self harm
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food: normal breakfast, normal late-ish lunch, large dinner. plus dessert. and hot chocolate. huh.
company: colleagues, then family. a few texts/messages - made some plans to see people.
work: 6 hour shift. It was ok, felt I had a better rapport with the AM than I have thus far. Did have frequent negative-aggressive thoughts and self-harm impulses,...
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Day 92
trigger warning: self harm
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food: small-ish breakfast, small-ish lunch, regular dinner.
company: colleagues, then the poet.
work: 4 hour late shift. It was fine.
activity: resting. internets. walked to work, did my shift, walked back.
rest: slept 11pm - 12pm ish.
feeling: generally ok, though having impulsive thoughts of self-harm and acquired a few bruises. In a decent...
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Day 91
trigger warning: self harm
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food: regular breakfast, late lunch, ice cream, late-ish small-ish dinner.
company: colleagues; the poet and his sister.
work: 6 hour shift. It was fine. a few bruises maybe.
activity: drove to work, on shift, went to the cinema, drove back to the poet’s.
rest: slept 2am - 9am? something like that.
feeling: ok on the whole. reasonable...
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“That is the imperial mind at work. Its premises are often embraced implicitly...”
– Glenn Greenwald: The Imperial Mind
(via rcabbasi)
Yep. Hypocrisy always wins when it comes to American foreign policy.
(via mehreenkasana)
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Day 90
trigger warning: eating disorder, self harm
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food: small breakfast at lunchtime. small-ish dinner. elements of concious restriction… annnd weighed myself. twice.
company: not much. a few texts.
work: no
activity: lay in bed. some maybe bruises. went to the gym (briefly - I was there for about half an hour?). Took a shower. Internets.
rest: slept 2am - 1.40pm, and...
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Day 89
trigger warning: eating disorders/body image
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food: late breakfast. normal lunch. normal dinner. All felt kind of unpredictable though. Not happy with my shape at the moment.
company: family around a bit. phone calls from the poet and from the athlete. Various messages.
work: little bit of portfolio. not much concentration.
activity: reading. cpn meeting - difficult to talk....
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Day 88
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food: breakfast. packed lunch. cake. dinner (out).
company: colleagues. one of my best friends. my family a little.
work: 6 hour shift. Quiet. Easy enough. Annnd I did a bit of portfolio.
activity: dropped my sister off, then drove to work. portfolio before work and in my break. shift. Drove to meet one of my best friends, caught up with her a bit. Home. Internets.
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Day 87
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food: no breakfast, kind of weird lunch made of snacks, regular dinner.
company: family a bit.
work: finished cv, started portfolio laying-out, downloaded fonts
activity: internets - research/planning/investigating, mixed in with work and a bit of reading
rest: slept 11pm - 12.40pm
feeling: generally ok. reasonably positive. interested in making plans/adventuring. able to...
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“Cherish your solitude. Take trains by yourself to places you have never been....”
– Eve Ensler (via venula)
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Day 86
possible ED trigger
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food: Normal breakfast, staged-snack-lunch, large dinner. Feel way too full.
company: colleagues, family a bit
work: 4 hour shift (12-4). Quiet. Boot fits and outback time.
activity: went to gp appointment. came home, time out. showered, lift to work. on shift. couple of errands in town, train back. Internets, conversation. Decided to go to Ethiopia and...
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